Perfection: Too-High Expectations

The following are ten traits of perfectionists. 

All-Or-Nothing Thinking:

Perfectionists tend to set high goals and work hard toward them. However, a high achiever can be sati Perfectionists will accept nothing less than perfection. ‘Almost perfect’ is seen as failure.


Critical Eye:

Perfectionists are far more critical of themselves and of others.  They hone in on these imperfections and have trouble seeing anything else, and they’re more judgmental and hard on themselves and on others when ‘failure’ does occur.


“Push” vs “Pull”:

High achievers tend to be pulled toward their goals by a desire to achieve them, and are happy with any steps made in the right direction. Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to be pushed toward their goals by a fear of not reaching them, and see anything less than a perfectly met goal as a failure.


Unrealistic Standards:

Unfortunately, a perfectionist’s goals aren’t always even reasonable, perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach.

Focus on Results:

Perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned about meeting the goal and avoiding the dreaded failure that they can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving.


Depressed by Unmet Goals: 

Perfectionists tend to beat themselves and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet. 

Fear of Failure:

Perfectionists are afraid to fail. Because they place so much stock in results and become so disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure becomes a very scary prospect. Anything less than perfection is seen as ‘failure'.


Procrastination:

It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination, as that trait can be detrimental to productivity, but perfectionism and procrastination do tend to go hand in hand. This is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all! This leads to more feelings of failure, and a vicious cycle is thus perpetuated.


Defensiveness:

Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they tend to take constructive criticism defensively, while otherss can see criticism as valuable information to help their future performance.


Low Self Esteem:

...perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and unhappy, and suffer from low self-esteem. They can also be lonely or isolated, as their critical nature and rigidity can push others away as well. This can lead to lower self-esteem.

Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step toward creating a more easygoing nature and achieving the inner peace and real success that comes from overcoming perfectionism and being able to say that ‘almost perfect’ is still a job very well done.